HOW I OVERCAME MY ADDICTION WITH MASTURBATION AND PORNOGRAPHY
How to stop masturbation addiction is no joke but there is a way out for you. This unconventional approach works. Though this article is about how to stop masturbation and its addiction, the principles remain the same for almost any kind of addiction though the nitty-gritties might change.
Do You want to stop masturbation addiction? Have you tried all the conventional methods in the books but to no avail. Have you been told masturbation is normal and yet there is always that icky feeling of guilt whenever you do masturbate.
Well I was in your shoes and I understand the feeling of frustration and utter helplessness. After years of struggIe I came out applying these methods i share in here.
THE STRUGGLE TO STOP MASTURBATION
Before we delve in, does this sound like you.
You are a “normal” every day guy or gal and you live your life – eating sleeping working having fun. But then unknown to all save yourself there always come a point in your life where you ‘loose’ control of yourself. You fear where this “thing” will lead you next.
This is where I begin my story. I was born into a Christian home and grew up mostly alone though surrounded by my step brothers and sisters. Unbeknownst to anyone I was secretly battling with masturbation.
Having been brought up in a Christian family, you can imagine the weight of guilt anytime I masturbated. You find yourself in a situation where you cannot fully control your own actions no matter how harrrd you try. You promise yourself this is going to be the last time. But it never is.
HOW TO stop MASTURBATION addiction is what this article is about so let’s get to work
HOW IT ALL BEGAN
It all began one Thursday in 2001. I was preparing for a cell meeting( a small Christian gathering) at home. I suddenly felt this strong desire to have sex. Without knowing how I began touching myself. This marked the beginning of a decade-long habit.
HOW MASTURBATION AFFECTED MY LIFE
it was my one secret that always stole the joy of my Christian testimony.
Prior to this, I lived a very chaste life. I was the typical “good boy” but now here I was struggling with a secret sin. The guilt that accompanied me anytime I counselled others made me feel like a hypocrite.
What I did not know then was that I didn’t need to be perfect to help others.
What I did not know then was that I didn’t need to be perfect to help others.
Related article: HOW TO LIVE A SEXUALLY PURE AND CHASTE LIFE
FAILED ATTEMPTS TO OVERCOME MASTURBATION
From junior school to senior school the battle raged on. Here are my best failed attempts to stop this sin.
- SWEARING TO GOD TO NEVER masturbate again: an obvious failed attempt.
- Worrying myself to death after each episode
- Promising myself never to continue
- Praying whenever i feel turned on , worked once – too bad it worked once
- Drawing out a very strict time schedule. Worked in helping to avoid triggers but it worked only for so long.
- Accountability partner: Well it worked so long as i was checked up on but truth be told my accountability partner could not sustain checking up on me every day.
I’m sure if you have had or do have an addiction, you can attest to this. - Secrecy, this was an absolute bomber, the deception of addiction is that we lie to ourselves that we are the only ones going through it and that we can handle it alone. Self-righteousness and how others would perceive us is the greatest hindrance to getting help. Of course, secrecy only prolonged the habit.
WHAT WORKED SOMEWHAT
However I noticed the following helped considerably
- Daily meditation and prayer regardless of whether I masturbate or not.
- Accountability partner- I finally mustered courage and swallowed my overly spiritual pride and spoke to a youth facilitator at church- I was greatly helped. Secrecy helps to fuel habits.
- Staying away from triggers i.e. pornography, watching and reading sexually stimulating TV content
THE SOLUTION: WHAT FINALLY WORKED AND STILL DOES IN STOPPING ADDICTION TO MASTURBATION
Finally here is the crust of the matter. I know a lot of the youth as well as adults battle with how to overcome masturbation, pornography and other sexual addictions. it is my prayer that these solutions will help you. Regardless of whether you are religious or not, these suggestions would help you. Let me know how you fared after implementing the suggestions. Send an email and feel free to drop your comments and questions. I am open to them all.
1. Be focused and stay that way
It is easy to fall into the temptation of doing many things at the same time. You may want to be more time-conscious, pick up a new hobby etc. As much as it sounds wonderful to want to tickle yourself into believing you can do many things well, that is not the case for most people.
So focus on one thing at a time. Focus on breaking this lifelong habit. That is not to say you cannot do other important stuff but, you know the main thing is breaking this addiction.
2. Stay away from triggers
There is a saying here in Ghana, that you cannot stand in a place of thorns and at the same time pull out thorns from under your feet. To wit and in this context, you must stay far from any form of sexually stimulating content be it electronic or print.
You can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick.
BEATING THE DEVIL AT HIS GAME
Outline every possible source that turns you on sexually and causes you to masturbate. Is it movies- stay completely off. Cos you cannot tell when a scene will turn well you know, sexy. If it is online content then that’s a tricky one especially where your job requires you online often. Indeed in our world currently, you just cannot do without the internet on our phones and laptops
However these same gadgets can play in our favour. Here is what to do.
- Delete all history and associated cookies and cached items form porn sites you have visited. Activate search filters where available. Research shows that about 80% percent of online porn is on our phones,
2. Install a parental control app and let your accountability partner parent you. This is very important. there are apps that monitor your content and websites you visit etc. and relay that information in real time for your accountability partner to prompt you. Knowing someone you trust is watching you alone can be a great booster to help keep you in check
The point is simple. STAY OF TRIGGERS.
WHAT TO DO WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS
Okay here is where we get personal. You’d agree with me that all of the above conventional recommendations are typical textbook answers. You’d also agree with me that well, not that they do not work but just that if somehow, you to slip just even once , you may find yourself tumbling down the rabbit hole once again. You realise the short dose of success is followed by much deeper self indulgence and sexual gluttony.
You begin to wonder, if it was worth the initial effort.
This pattern of success and failure and the willingness to change but lack of the will power thereof is an age old dilema. Just check what the scriptures say on this:
ACCESSING WILL POWER
This text is over 2000 years old. This should let you know your situation is not peculiar.
You see, I have been addicted to masturbation before. It is easy to say avoid the triggers, get an accountability partner, go for a walk(here is where I have a wry smile on my face- I’m like ‘really” a walk?), Read your bible to take your mind off.
But here comes the ugly truth-what do you do when you do not need triggers to be triggered into masturbation. Here is what i mean (I’m sure if you have ever tried to stop masturbation or any addiction you already understand me).
When out of no where, a sudden overpowering desire to watch porn and masturbate comes on you. What do you do?
When out of no where, a sudden overpowering desire to watch porn and masturbate comes on you. What do you do?
The issue is not that you do not know what to do, it’s just that you cannot do what you know to do.
You are trapped by this addiction and your defences suddenly fail, you turn jelly as you find yourself overpowered by your addiction. What you need is will power. Imagine you had the WILLPOWER to avoid triggers, turn off that online ad that allures to you, go for that walk to cool off, turn off that TV. Imagine how much success can be chalked if only the power was there. and yes the power is there.
Here then is how to access willpower
1. MEDITATE ON GODS WORD
With so much going on these days in the area of meditation and so many meditation programs out there, I use the word “meditation” advisedly. Here in lies the difference: meditating on the word of God is not the recital of some mantra.
The word of God is a living thing. I can’t overemphasise this fact. As you meditate on the words of the Bible, it start becoming alive and flesh in your life. You become what the word says.
12 Hebrews 4:12New Living Translation
For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.
Take time and read this post on how to meditate on the word of God. You will love its rich and practical insight.
2. FAST AND PRAY
Hmm, fast and pray. This option is not at all charming and not the least bit sexy. Jesus said “
“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.“
The solution for weakness in the flesh is to watch and pray. This will empower you and give you all the resolve you need to stop masturbating. If you really want to cut off the head of the snake for good, then fast and pray.
The whole idea is the strong spiritual aura and power that is created around your soul. With this renewed willpower, you will find yourself able to focus on the above suggestion of avoiding the triggers. This is not the kind of thing that goes away with a day of fasting and prayers.
The question then becomes how do we pray and how long do we fast? It is simple; you may pray for God to help you break the habit, but more importantly, as you meditate on the words of the Bible, you will have many other things to pray about.
As you work meditating on the scriptures and prayer into a habit, you gain spiritual power to break the stronghold of masturbation.
It is a stronghold you have probably been battling for years. If you really want to stop masturbating I recommend 30 days fasting and prayers. Pray as you go through the day and set aside time in the evening for an hour to pray. Do away with TV , entertainment and the like. Focus on the fast.
It sounds all too simple but it works.
Related article: Benefits of fasting
3. LIVE A FASTED LIFE –
This final nugget is what will ensure you not only conquer masturbation and pornography but keep it that way. With the first two alone, you will be on top of this addiction. With this 3rd practice however, you are gonna have the victory for the long haul. It will permanently kill the addiction.
- Identify a tool for living a fast life.
Here is what I mean, identify a harmless habit of yours and fast it away, that is do away with it. It should be something you can deny yourself from on a daily basis. It could be a harmless habit but would require sufficient will to stop. For me, it was something as simple as not lying down in bed except when I was ready to sleep.
I had this very bad habit of doing everything in bed, eating, learning reading, thinking and working all in bed. Upon making this decision as my tool for a fasted life. it was no joke, there was always the perpetual drive to jump into bed and perform everyday tasks.
Whenever I felt that way, I remembered that hey, you are fasting this habit away. It kept me focused. of course, now having broken the masturbation hold, I no longer strictly follow this practice to the letter. - For you, it may be your favourite snack or food you always crave for. The whole idea is to deny ourselves and starve our desires.
CONCLUSION
lets conclude with a prayer
“Dear lord Jesus, Thank you for your grace and mercies upon our lives. Help us even in this weak moment of our lives as seek to honour you. Help us overcome this addiction of masturbation and pornography. We seek to honour you with our bodies so help us LORD. Thank you for having answered our prayers in Jesus’ name. Amen“
So that is it, I want us to do this together. For a more personalised one-on-one interaction. Send me an email and let’s chat. lets walk through this together, I know how strong of an addiction masturbation is.